My spouse, N'omi is regularly asked if she does not believe in equality for women, simply because some of the things she says sounds odd to the modern day ear. But she always replies:

"Why should I give up superiority for mere equality? I've worked at developing my feminine traits and my human capabilities. So as a woman, I'm superior. But as a man, I am a failure.

Why waste my time trying to be something I'm not? I can compete well with men in terms of some of my human skills. But just as men can never compete with women in terms of feminine characteristics, I can never compete with guys in terms of masculine traits.

During the many years before I met Joel, I functioned as dad and mom to five of my kids. I was only able to fulfill the dad role by telling my children stories of how fantastic their father was, and just how much he loved them, and was proud of them. But I couldn't be a father to them; only a faithful mom.

So I believe in becoming the best of what I can be. That consists of my feminine qualities, and it includes my human qualities. For this reason, I am a very powerful woman, emotionally and mentally. I am not in conflict with myself or with the individuals around me.

I'm busy being me, and getting happier and much more fulfilled with every passing year."

N'omi is actually that amazing woman, powerful and focused on fulfilling her potential, in her own life, as well as in our life together.

What exactly do N'omi and I have? Are we equal? No, because equal means the same. Men and females are not the same.

The only way in which all individuals are "created equal" is that we all have the exact same 24 hours a day in which to make conclusions about who we have decided to be.

Relationships are not 1 1 = 2. That would be equality. Human relationships are a partnership, to which each partner brings a different assortment of qualities: character traits, aptitudes, attributes, thoughts, beliefs, and other accumulated stuff that makes them who they are.

In reality, this means that no two humans, no matter what gender, are really "equal" when they meet.

But when in relationships, you're joining two very different sets of qualities, and adding gender qualities to the equation. This can be a volatile mix because it's a partnership of unequals, not an equality of 2 identical parties. This is exactly why dating to relating can be difficult for us and particularly for men who try anxiously to attract females.

We need to discard the idea that "unequal" indicates one is superior and one inferior. That's not what it means. "Unequal" just means "not the same," or "different." And any person can see that every single human is different from every other human.

Personal qualities are individual and never gender-specific. But there are gender-specific qualities that exist and must be recognized for what they are just before true partnership can blossom.

Remember: Men and ladies are two races that share the exact same planet, but not much else! When dating and relating with one another happily, they have to learn about what's unchangeable-in their own and in their mate's nature-and what may be modified.

Then they will stop blaming, and start working together. That is partnership!

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